your room smells of hookers.
And success
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize