I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
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She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
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But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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