Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize