Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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