and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize