so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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