it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize