Moan for me like Helen Keller
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize