3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
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She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
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You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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