Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize