Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
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Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
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You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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