babies were throwing up all over the place
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
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I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize