in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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