OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
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They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
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Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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