you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
