My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize