I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
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Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
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Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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