If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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