I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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