Where did you get a picture of my penis
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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