Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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