he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
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