she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize