I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I got chris browned last night
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize