the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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