i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize