he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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