What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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