how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I forget how to act sober
Randomize