Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
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Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize