Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
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Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
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Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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