There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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