upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize