I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
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I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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