And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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