he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
This is the high leading the old right now
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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