Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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