Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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