Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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