last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize