you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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