you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize