In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize