Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
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