i wish peter jackson would direct porn
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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