WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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