She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
