So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize