Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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