I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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