sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize